


Bitemarks and Bloodstains (I Unravel In Waves Of Red)

by keepyoursoul



Category: Bandom, My Chemical Romance
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Blood Kink, Blood and Gore, M/M, Not your typical vampire fic, Pining, Teacher-Student Relationship, Underage Sex, Vampires
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-22
Updated: 2017-06-22
Packaged: 2018-11-17 09:46:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 18,386
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11272974
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/keepyoursoul/pseuds/keepyoursoul
Summary: In which Gerard has a medical condition that causes him to need to consume blood in order to survive, and Frank is his concerned teacher.





	Bitemarks and Bloodstains (I Unravel In Waves Of Red)

**Author's Note:**

> Gerard's condition is fake and he has no attributes of typical "vampires", aka: super strength, super speed, immortality, doesn't breathe or sleep, etc. He's just a teenager that needs to drink blood. 
> 
> Two titles cause I couldn't decide which one. First is a song by Finch and second is lyrics from Underneath It All by Death Spells.

Gerard swirled the contents in the glass, watching mesmerized as the thick liquid dripped down the sides in a slow cascade. He savoured the taste, taking small sips at a time.

Mikey sat on the other side of the room, a textbook in his lap, though he'd stopped reading it long ago. The brothers sat in a comfortable silence.

"That's the last of it for a while. I don't know if I'll be able to get more," he told Gerard.

Gerard stared down into the glass, swirling it around and around.

"I know."  


*

The worksheet in front of him was finished, but the bottom was becoming filled with absentminded sketches, charcoal grey slowly filling the page. He barely registered the room around him as he got lost in his own mind. Keeping himself busy was necessary, though. Necessary to not let himself get caught up in all of the people around him, breathing carelessly and heating up the room.

In the background people were talking in a murmur. That was, until something caught his attention.

“Gerard?"

He glanced up quickly, the teacher was leaning against his desk at the front of the room, eyebrows raised in question.

"What?" he asked. He felt like everyone was looking at him. They probably were.

"I said, what did you put for number four?" the teacher  repeated.

"Oh, uh-" Gerard glanced back down to his sheet. He panicked for a second not knowing whether he wrote down an answer. "The left pulmonary artery," he finally answered.

The teacher looked at him with a calculating sort of expression on his face. He didn't even check the answer key before he nodded. "That's correct. Kyle, what's number five?”

With his attention back on the other students, Gerard thankfully dropped his gaze back down to his absentminded sketches, and let himself focus on the messy details of the shading instead of the searing, burning feeling inside of him that made it so insanely difficult to concentrate.

As soon as the bell rang, Gerard gathered up his things, making his way to the door before the teacher called his name.

"Gerard, can I talk to you for a minute?”

His shoulders slumped as he forced his feet to stop moving and drug himself back to the teacher's desk, holding his book bag limply in his hand. It was last period and he was exhausted. Everyone filed out around him, their shoulders brushing his as they hurried to leave the room made him jolt and hold himself uncomfortably still. He just wanted to get out of here.

"Yes, Mr. Iero?" he asked, forcing a polite tone.

"Have a seat," he told him, gesturing to one of the desks in the front row, leaning himself against  his messy teaching desk with his arms crossed.

Gerard sat down, dropping his bag on the floor as he looked up at him. He didn't like being alone in here with him, it made him anxious, and really, after surviving the whole day with no incidents, his strength was wearing thin and it should really be time to get himself out of there.

"What?" Gerard asked, after Mr. Iero looked at him thoughtfully for some time.

"Is there anything going on with you lately that you want to talk about? You just seem really off lately. I noticed you haven't been paying any attention in my class these past few days.”

"I'm sorry," Gerard said, looking down to the surface of the desk scratched with crude words and drawings.

"You're not in trouble, Gerard," Mr. Iero said, running his hand through his hair as he looked at the student, his brows creased with concern. "I'm just worried, you don't seem like yourself.”

Gerard shook his head. "I'm fine, really. Just tired, I guess." It sounded like a lie even to his own ears.

“'Cause as a teacher, you know, we're supposed to intervene if we feel that one of our students is in danger. And I'm not assuming anything, just- everything's okay at home lately?”

Gerard scoffed. "I'm fine. Everything's... good. I don't know what else to tell you," he told him, getting angry now. Mr. Iero didn't know what his private life was like, and hopefully he’d never find out.

Gerard stood up abruptly, slinging his bag over his shoulder forcefully and making his way for the door. A hand on his shoulder was like a shock to his system and spun him on his heels. Mr. Iero's face was full of regret, and he was closer than ever before. Gerard had to close his eyes and clench his jaw.

"I'm sorry. I know it's not my place. Just-" he broke off, removing his hand from Gerard's shoulder. He looked nothing like the authoritarian figure that he was in class. He looked like a real person. He looked scared. "I'd hate to see you fail this class because of something else that's going on. Just promise me you'll take care of yourself?”

Gerard looked at him for one more second, eyes searching into his teachers worrisome ones, not even sure what he was looking for. Maybe it was to detect whether he was really genuine, but whatever he was trying to decipher in the subtleties of Mr. Iero's eyes was abandoned as he found himself staring at the slight rosiness on his teacher's cheeks, the pinkness of his lips, healthy and full.

Gerard spun around and stormed out of the room, down the hall without another word or a glance back. He couldn't let himself think about it, because if he dwelled for one more second about the smell of the room or the radiating heat of Mr. Iero's hand on his shoulder, he would turn around right then and march back into the classroom where Mr. Iero was all alone, and he would do something that he would absolutely regret. He would do something that would make him hate himself for the rest of his life. 

But luckily, he was outside already, hundreds of feet away from the school and on the lonesome path back to his and Mikey's old brick house, cold and dark, but safe.

There were only a few more days of the school week until the weekend. Mr. Iero didn't need to worry, because his problem would probably be solved before then. It had to be, because if it wasn't... he had no idea what he was going to do.

After he was a safe distance from the school, walking home was a daze. His eyes were down and he focused on following the familiar trail home, not letting himself think or feel or take in his surroundings well enough because that could lead him to losing control and that could ruin everything. When he got in the door, the click of the deadbolt was a relief.

Even in the safe confines of home, he still couldn't completely relax without knowing what their situation was. He was praying that against all odds, their problem would magically be solved and he could go back to living carefree life, despite the regular adolescent dramas that came with high school.

When Gerard saw Mikey walk in with empty hands and sunken eyes, he slumped down in disappointment. Fuck, what were they gonna do?

"Don't tell me…"

Mikey shook his head. "It looks like it's shut down for good.”

"Fuck, Mikey. Fuck," Gerard gripped at his hair roughly, curling in on himself out of frustration. "What are we gonna do?”

Mikey sat down and started biting on his fingernails, something about him was on edge and frantic seeming. Both him and Gerard.

"Maybe it's just closed for a little while, maybe there's some sort of holiday or something," Gerard hoped.

"You didn't see it, Gerard, the place is boarded up. Probably some sort of health code violation. Either that or they weren't getting enough donations and had to shut down.”

Gerard leant his head against the wall.

"On the walk back I was thinking... I hope they didn't shut down because they weren't getting enough donations because of us…"

"It couldn't be- we were careful," Gerard said.

"We went through six bags a week, that's enough to put 'em out of business. Surprised it wasn't enough for them to notice, too. It was only a matter of time.”

"Don't say that. It makes it seem like the place getting shut down was our fault.”

"It was," Mikey said sternly.

"Shut up!" Gerard yelled, throwing a pillow cushion across the room. "Oh God, we're gonna die.”

“No you’re not.”

“Well, I'm able to starve.”

"Your body won't let you do that. You'll snap before then, no one's strong enough to go thirsty," Mikey told him, as if it was matter-of-fact.

"Yeah, well, I'm different," Gerard muttered, and got up to leave the room, storming outside and into the night, the trees in the distance coming into focus quickly as his eyes adjusted to the darkness. The glow of the moon left Gerard with only a shadow as company as he trailed into the woods that edged the town under nightfall.

He stalked into the forest with heavy footsteps, angry and on the hunt for something with a beating heart and enough blood to keep him sane.

Him and Mikey had been on their own for a long time. He had no idea where his parents were, if they're alive or dead. If they're like him or not. Their grandmother took care of them since they were kids, she told them that they were born that way, needing blood to survive. She stole bags from the blood bank for them ever since they were little, and even after she passed away, it was always the best way for them to stay alive. Mikey was the best at stealing it, he was small and silent, sometimes he would go with their grandma and watch as she waited until everyone left for the day, before doing that trick with the lock on the back door.

Gerard shook as he got deeper and deeper into the forest, not out of cold, but with fear and anxiety about what his life was going to be like now that he didn't have a steady food source. He was horrible at catching live prey like the animals in the forest, and he hated the morbidity of it. The sounds of the animal as he killed it, the surge of warm blood before it was just a lifeless thing in his hands. It made him sick.

And there was no way he'd even think of attacking a person. Killing someone, watching and looking into their eyes as the light faded and they grew limp and heavy…

He pushed back a tree branch and stepped over a log as he paused and listen to the scuttling of small animals.

If he could improve his hunting skills and drink before and after he went to school, he could possibly have a chance at a normal life. Standing there in the forest by himself at nightfall, that didn't exactly seem like the most practical option, but he had no other choice. Mikey was right, he more he starved, the more desperate his body would become until it started turning into a living corpse, and he became so removed from his mind that he attacked the first person that he saw on the street.

He would never let himself get to that point, he promised himself.

And as he pounced, held a struggling life in his hands and ripped into it's flesh, he told himself that it was the only way he could survive. As his teeth sank into the animal and he sucked the blood out of it's body, images flashed before his eyes. His worst fear was getting to such desperation that he hurt someone he cared about. Hot blood poured down his throat like honey. Mr. Iero's soft neck and dark hair curled behind his ear was right behind his eyelids.

Gerard jerked and dropped the animal to the ground suddenly, breathing hard. He looked around, only the pitch black, silent forest loomed around him. Pulse points under dress shirt collars faded from his mind as he stood up, and turned around, walking home.

He had school early tomorrow.

The next morning, Gerard spit in the sink, the minty foam pink hued as the remnants of his morning hunt was brushed out of his mouth. He was exhausted, his eyes dark without makeup, and he could still feel the uncomfortable tightness in his stomach from being left hungry. The small animal that he caught that morning was nowhere big enough to feed him, but it was all he had time for before he had to be off to school. 

He grabbed his bag and left their house, the old, familiar building growing smaller behind him as he made his way to school. He felt colder lately without the extra blood to keep him warm. The tips of his fingers felt tingly numb as he pulled the sleeves of his jacket down even lower, trying to ignore the feeling of uncomfortableness, his throat scratchy and dry. 

Kids were walking in large groups ahead of him, only a few blocks away from their school now. They were loud and energetic, yelling and shoving each other as they walked to the big brick building. A gust of air swept their scent towards Gerard and he had to abruptly cross the street, darting out in front of a car to get away from them.

The first few classes were fine. His friend Ray asked him if he wanted to sit with them at lunch, but Gerard took one glance at  the packed cafeteria and declined. He walked to the back of the building, sitting on the cracked cement that looked out over the sports field and houses in the distance, and smoked a cigarette, drawing it out until the lunch period was over. He usually didn't isolate himself this much from everyone else, he could usually take it. Hell, he'd been like this his whole life, he had practice. 

But lately with the limited food supply and the anxiety of when he would get his next kill, it seemed like every fresh blood source put him on high alert.

As the bell rang and he was pulled out of his thoughts, he crushed his cigarette butt against the wall and begrudgingly went in to class, tensing his shoulders as he walked through the hallway. 

The afternoon classes were harder. He was more distracted, and at one point failed to write any notes at all, instead focusing on the dull pain of his fangs wanting to poke out of his gums, a throbbing sort of ache that only allowed him to concentrate on self-preservation, and telling himself over and over that the girl sitting across from him would taste absolutely disgusting (even though he knew that was a lie).

He slammed down into his desk in the last class of the day, biology. He was at the back, his fingers curling white-knuckled around the rim of his desk as he subconsciously glanced towards the teacher's desk at the front of  the room. Mr. Iero was rifling through a stack of papers, talking and laughing with a student that went up to ask him a question before class had started. He nodded and spoke to them, straightening up and pushing his hair behind his ear, placing his hand on their shoulder and showing them to their desk. His eyes met Gerard's for a brief moment, and Gerard abruptly looked away.

The class quieted down as Mr. Iero presumably went to the front of the room to start the class, Gerard didn't know, he wasn't watching.

"Today's the day that you've been waiting for- or dreading," Mr. Iero announced to the class as he glanced at some of the students grimacing at the table set up at the front of the room. There was murmuring and excited chatter amongst the class, Gerard wasn't sure what everyone was talking about as he finally looked up to the front of the room, a small laboratory table on wheels was set up with instruments and a metal dish with a towel over top of it. His breath stuttered in his chest- they weren't doing what he thought they were, were they?

"So as I told you last week, the three people with the highest scores in last week's exam get to come up and assist me as we dissect the pig's heart, and as a class we'll go through and label the different parts of the circulatory system and their functions," Mr. Iero told them, going over to his desk to retrieve a folder which he began looking through. "Now don't worry, I had reservations about using a real specimen to dissect in this class, but it's mandatory for your curriculum, and I was assured that the heart was taken from an animal that died of natural causes.”

Gerard dug his nails into the side of his desk, and he was in utter panic. He couldn't be in the room when they were dissecting the heart let alone assist on the procedure. He wouldn't be able to take it, would he? The class was a loud jumble of talking and movement as he was lost in his own head, trying to figure out his best plan of action. How could he get out of this without seeming suspicious? If he ran out, everyone would think he was squeamish, and he didn't want to make a scene. But as the minutes ticked by, and Gerard was left with nothing to do but sit there and see if the universe was on his side, Mr. Iero finally found the names of the lucky students and read them to the awaiting class.

"Jeph, Kelly, and Gerard, come up to the front and put some gloves on," Mr. Iero said, and Gerard was struck with a feeling of dread. He was frozen in his seat, he couldn't go up there, but now with everyone's eyes on him, and the chatter of people disappointed that they didn't score higher on the exam, or grateful, Gerard was left with little options.

"Coming?" Jeph asked as he walked by Gerard's desk.

Gerard nodded jerkily, though every rational part of him was screaming that this was a bad idea.

Mr. Iero picked up the box of surgical gloves at the front of the room, smiling at Gerard who was frozen at his desk. Mr. Iero was acting like this was something fun, like he was doing a favour for Gerard. Nothing like slicing up a good cadaver heart to lighten Gerard’s spirits, right? 

Gerard didn’t know why he didn’t just run out of there, damn the consequences and the looks he would inevitably get when he showed his face again. Putting himself through that temptation was horribly dangerous and he knew better. But the way that Mr. Iero was looking at him, waiting patiently while the other two kids gloved-up and taunted their classmates with the fact that they won the “competition”, made Gerard stand up almost involuntarily and move to the front of the classroom. The twinkle that Gerard cursed himself for thinking he saw in Mr. Iero’s eyes as he finally stepped forward and took the gloves almost made up for absolute torture that he was going to be putting himself through. Almost.

Gerard avoided Mr. Iero’s gaze as he pulled the tight latex gloves onto his hands and finally flicked his eyes over to the organ sitting in the metal container in front of them. Surprisingly, it looked just like a dead piece of meat, different from what Gerard was used of seeing when he went hunting. The fresh animal that he caught was full of pumping blood and warmth- this was a bit grayer, a bit duller as it sat in the container, almost seeming not as frightening as Gerard initially thought that this would be. It’s not like they were cutting open a beating heart after all. 

Suddenly, his thoughts were interrupted by the feeling of Mr. Iero standing next to him, close as the four of them had to stand around the small table that the heart was sitting on. The first row of desks was only a few steps away, but Gerard almost forgot about everything else as the feeling of Mr. Iero’s body warmed up his entire side. Their elbows were touching through the layers of their shirts, but nowhere else, though Gerard could clearly feel the dull heat radiating off of him as he could with everyone else. Something about Mr. Iero had always distracted him, though, more than any of the other teachers or students in the school, but Gerard tried to not let himself think about that too much. He knew what he sometimes caught himself thinking about when he was feeding, and it made himself slightly uncomfortable, and quite a bit guilty, so he pushed those feelings down entirely. 

“You guys can get closer if you want to,” Mr. Iero told the class, and immediately almost everyone stood up to gather around them, interested in a kind of gross curiosity about what was about to happen. 

Gerard cringed internally, the last thing he needed was to be surrounded by a wall of people while this was all happening. Everything was testing him today, and really, the proximity of everyone around him and the excitement and anxiousness that Gerard could feel radiating off of everyone in waves was almost enough to make him want to flee. 

“Alright, let’s get started,” said Mr. Iero. “So who can tell me where the largest flow of blood is pumped through the heart?” 

“The aorta,” someone said. 

“That’s right, and where is that, Jeph?” 

Jeph looked at the heart, the organ looking a lot different than the labelled diagrams they studied in their textbook. “…Right here?”, he asked, using his gloved finger to point to a valve coming out of one of the chambers. 

“That’s correct,” Mr. Iero nodded. “Now for the fun part…” he said, reaching for a scalpel to dissect the aorta with. There was a sense of quietness of everyone holding their breath as Mr. Iero held the scalpel, thumb and middle finger on either side of the blade, and index finger on the top as he smoothly sliced through the ventricle. 

The students all leaned in a bit as a small part of the heart was cut open, revealing the clotted blood inside. Gerard clenched his hands at his sides as the smell of old blood hit him, not strong enough to bother everyone else, but definitely close enough to make every synapse in Gerard’s brain fire off in a flurry of _pounce, run, catch, demolish, tear, rip, shred, drink_.

But he held himself together. 

Mr. Iero was explaining something, Gerard wasn’t even paying attention as he gestured towards the heart, describing the flow of blood through the heart into the different chambers, the processes and function of the valves within, sometimes poking and turning the heart to show the students different angles. Gerard didn’t process a word of it. 

He glanced periodically at Mr. Iero’s face as he talked, his voice the normal low cadence, interested and expressive as his mouth moved around the words he was forming. When Gerard got a glance at his tongue he looked away and clenched his teeth. 

“Gerard, can you cut open the right ventricle?” 

There was an awkward pause as Gerard took a while to process what he heard. He snapped his eyes up from his concentrated stare at the edge of the table, darting around quickly at everyone standing around them before settling at Mr. Iero standing next to him, looking intently at his face as he waited for a response. He was holding the scalpel towards him in a loose grip, the shiny blade already smudged with dark blood, and Gerard felt that familiar anxiety rush up in him like a wave as every instinct in him screamed that he had to run away because he was close to his breaking point. 

“I, um- no, I- I can’t,” Gerard shook his head. “You do it.”

“No, you can. I know you can,” Mr. Iero told him, holding the scalpel a little closer to Gerard’s hand. “C’mon, I’ll show you exactly where to do it.”

Gerard swallowed dryly, feeling sweat prickle at the back of his neck as he slowly reached for the blade. He felt genuinely scared as he wasn’t sure if he would be able to do this, if everyone was safe around him at this point, or if he had already crossed over into some sort of psychological territory that there was no going back from. Something about Mr. Iero was incredibly persuasive, and Gerard hated it. 

Gripping the blade the same way that Mr. Iero did, his index finger resting on the top of the blade, hesitantly ready to cut, Mr. Iero stepped impossibly closer to Gerard, leaning in and pointing to a specific part of the heart that was untouched by their butchering as of yet, indicating where Gerard was to cut. 

“Drag the blade from the opening here, all the way to this part,” Mr. Iero told him, looking up to Gerard’s face with a sure, gentle expression. “Ready?” 

Gerard nodded jerkily, “I think.” With his left hand, he reached up and held on to the edge of the table for support, coincidentally pressing his and Mr. Iero’s forearms together, but Mr. Iero didn’t visibly notice, or care. 

Reaching with the hand holding the scalpel, Gerard steadied the his pinkie and ring finger against the bottom of the container for support as he brought the blade up to the right ventricle, hovering the blade above where he was supposed to cut. 

But as he was about to cut, Mr. Iero shifted beside him, pressing their arms together just slightly, and suddenly Gerard couldn’t concentrate on anything but Mr. Iero beside him, his heat and the weight of everyone’s gaze on him as they waited for him to do the simple procedure. 

“It’s okay,” Mr. Iero whispered, his face turned towards Gerard’s as he stared at the heart, low enough for no one else to hear. Unexplainably, those simple words or maybe the voice they were whispered in so close to his neck spread shivers through his body, tingles of hyperawareness spreading through Gerard’s side that was closest his teacher. 

Gerard took a deep breath, which was a mistake, because it was purely Mr. Iero’s scent that flooded through his body, igniting something inside of him that made his gums throb and his hand seemingly move without his signal, almost messily cutting into the cadaver heart in one fluid motion, his index finger sliding off the top of the blade at the last moment as his finger slid into the wet insides of the right ventricle that was now gashed open. 

Gerard breathed fast, audibly, as the scalpel slid out of his grip and clanked against the metal of the dish, a few of his fingers sliding into the blood-filled opening. Even though the thin gloves, it felt soft and wet against his fingertips. 

The feeling surged through him, and he shoved away from the table violently, hitting the desk behind him enough to hurt. “I have to-“ he tried to explain, his voice panicked before he slammed through the wall of people and ran as hard and as fast as he could down the hallway, his fangs ripping through his gums and his eyes clouding over, murderous thoughts flooding through his mind that he tried desperately to fight. As he passed each classroom, the smell of the people inside washed over him, cowering in tight packs, warm breath and flesh, all around him, all around him…

Somehow he found himself in the bathroom, the door swinging itself shut behind him, and with a quick glance around, he found it thankfully empty. If there were anyone else in there, he was sure he would kill them. 

Gerard flung himself back against the tile wall, holding himself there against the cool porcelain and forced himself to breathe to calm down from his close call, as he still felt his body jerking and on edge, the adrenaline pumping through him excitedly. 

Before he realized what he was doing, his fingers were in his mouth, still covered in latex, but blood smeared, and he couldn’t stop himself from sucking on them with everything that he had in him, his tongue sliding between his fingers as he hazily tried to clean every ounce of blood off of them. 

With his eyes closed, his head tilted back against the cool tile and his fingers still in his mouth, trying to suck the faint coppery taste off of them even though the blood was long gone, he didn’t realize immediately as he door swung open and someone walked in. 

The closing of the door made his eyes dart open, and there standing before him was Mr. Iero, looking at him with his mouth slightly open as if he was caught in the midst of saying something, his eyes wide and eyebrows raised. 

Slowly, Gerard slid his fingers out of his mouth, his hand hanging limply at his side as he licked the spit off of his lips and tried to think of some sort of explanation.

“Were you…?” Mr. Iero trailed off, confusion evident on his face. He was standing completely still.

Gerard shook his head. “I have to go,” he said, and barged past him, swinging open the bathroom door roughly and storming out, walking quickly down the hall and out the door without looking back, scared that he would see Mr. Iero standing there looking back at him, pondering what he saw. Mr. Iero could never know. But if he asked any questions, it would be hard to explain what the fuck he’d been caught doing in that bathroom.

He skipped the next day of school. He couldn’t possibly face Mr. Iero after what had happened, let alone any of the other kids in his class. He was embarrassed about what had happened, but mostly he was scared about what Mr. Iero thought of him. Many things crossed Gerard’s mind over the three day weekend, whether Mr. Iero was disappointed in him, disgusted in him, or if he never wanted to face him again. What does a teacher do when they’re morally disgusted in one of their students? Do they get a choice, or do they just have to push through the rest of the year avoiding them as much as possible? 

The latter was Gerard’s best plan of action. If Mr. Iero asked no questions, he would definitely not try to explain himself. He knew that that was a mess in which he would only dig himself into a deeper hole, and he hoped to just live in his humiliation, never to look Mr. Iero in the eyes ever again. 

Mikey had noticed that he’d been moping around, more than usual that is, and tried to pry into if something had happened, if Gerard had finally broken, but Gerard scowled and shoved him into the kitchen counter, muttering a healthy “fuck off” and “no”, even though that was only partially true. 

Him and Mikey hadn’t spoken a lot since they ran out of bagged blood, even though Gerard knew that it wasn’t Mikey’s fault, he didn’t blame him, it just put a lot of pressure on both of them to take care of themselves and to hunt even though they were both inexperienced, and they were both pretty tired and stressed out. 

Gerard even stayed out in the forest one day, wanting time and space think, and admittedly feeling down on himself as he sat out on the forest floor for hours, fingers absentmindedly tearing up the soil as he leant against a tree and got out all of his self-deprecating thoughts in one sitting. 

There was a bit of dried blood around his mouth, his hoodie dirty from sitting on the ground, and he overall felt absolutely disgusting. He felt like an animal, like he should just live out in the forest forever if he couldn’t handle himself out in society, if he couldn’t not act like a freak and scare everyone around him with his slightly cannibalistic tendencies. 

Without realizing, tears slid down his face, and he hit his head back against the tree trunk, grimacing as he felt a different kind of pain flow through him. 

He just wanted to be normal. 

But the thought of Mr. Iero made him want to tear somebody’s flesh open, and he would never be able to live a normal life. He could never be around someone and not smell the blood under their skin, feel warmth radiating out of them. He would never not want that. He could never see someone as only a person, and not something to consume, and he hated himself for that.

Monday rolled around and Gerard somehow drug himself out of the forest and home, knowing that he wasn’t doing well in his biology class to begin with, simply because he hated to think about the human body, so he cleaned himself up and forced himself to go in to school.

Four days had passed since the incident, that should have been enough, right? He sure as hell hadn’t forgot about what happened, but he hoped that it wasn’t still fresh in everyone else’s mind either. No one would know that he wallowed in the forest for the greater part of the weekend, so that was a plus. 

Ray greeted him as usual as always, since he wasn’t in Gerard’s biology class, and their familiar friendship was comforting to him on such a dreaded day. Him and Ray walked through the hallways just like they always did, Ray was telling him about a date he went on that weekend that turned out horribly, and Gerard laughed for the first time in a long time. He started to think that maybe that school day wouldn’t be so bad.

Even as he walked into biology class that afternoon, everybody was milling around at their desks, not even noticing Gerard enter the room. It was surprising how much you could get away with at public school, what was once the most intriguing gossip faded away within a heartbeat to be replaced with something new, and you were forgotten once more, passing through the hallways like a ghost. Gerard was glad of this, he didn’t want to be noticed, because the more people payed attention to him, the faster they would realize that something about him was different, and the last thing he needed was to be found out. He didn’t know what would happen, as he didn’t know anyone else like him and Mikey, but his imagination fed him scenes of medical experiments in shiny white rooms or being chased like a wild animal into the depths of the forest, never to endanger the town again. 

Gerard snapped out of his daydream, finally moving through the door of the classroom and in the direction of his desk, when out of the group of preoccupied students, Mr. Iero turned around and looked up from across the room, meeting his eyes dead on. 

Gerard’s feet were almost frozen where they were, as his teacher stared at him with the most peculiar expression, one of wonder and almost surprise, a piece of his long hair hanging over his face like usual, as his teacher’s attempts to scrape it back with his fingers did nothing to tame it. 

Gerard was sure that if he had any extra blood left in his body that was not being used for nourishment, he would have had a horrible blush spread across his face, because the look in Mr. Iero’s eyes was clear and almost unsettlingly knowing. Mr. Iero knew nothing, Gerard had told him nothing about himself, and he was sure that he would be met with disgust, and a cold shoulder at the very least, but Mr. Iero walked up to him before he could even reach his desk, a hand on his shoulder guiding him to the front of the classroom where it was more quiet. 

Gerard was still looking at the hand that was on top of his shoulder, watching it slide down and hang at his teacher’s side as he hesitantly looked up at him, a disturbingly close distance away as if they were having an intimate conversation, which on second thought, he was sure that this would qualify as exactly that. 

Mr. Iero had a concerned expression on his face now, Gerard internally cursed himself for noticing when the teacher stopped biting on his lip absentmindedly, the blood rushing back into the pale skin as his teeth left it. Gerard blinked up at his eyes. 

“Can you stay after class for a few minutes? I just want to talk to you about something,” Mr. Iero asked, but Gerard was immediately analyzing his tone, the inflection in his voice as he became paranoid about ulterior motives.

“I can’t, and unless it’s school related, you don’t need to get involved in my life- it’s fine,” he hurried to brush him off, ignoring his teacher’s obvious annoyance at this.

“Gerard,” Mr. Iero lowered his voice considerably more, speaking in almost a hushed whisper. “You look like death lately. I’ve seen you every school day for six months, I know when things are going on with my students, and I’m not going to let this slip by without talking to you about what’s going on.”

“I have a phobia of blood, okay? That’s it,” Gerard said, looking down somewhere at Mr. Iero’s hip, his hand resting there agitatedly. He didn’t even know why he tried to lie, it hung in the air between them both like a flimsy excuse.

Mr. Iero breathed out fast, an exasperated sort of sound, as he smiled disbelievingly. “Sure. I’ll see you after class,” he said, turning around and going back to his desk, leaving Gerard to stand there frustratedly, before sulking to his desk and slumping down, not even bothering to pay attention to that day’s lesson. 

Gerard barely even noticed any of the scents or distractions around him, he was too nervous about his conversation with Mr. Iero and what he would want to talk about when they were alone together. But disappointingly, his worrying made time go by much quicker than than he realized, and the last bell of the day rang, causing the kids to gather up their things in a ruckus tornado of conversation and scraping chairs, and they flowed out of the room within seconds. 

Mr. Iero was sat at his desk, coffee cup in his hand, seemingly taking his time in conversing with Gerard as he had him all alone now, the door to the classroom shut, the noise from the hallway muffled and distant.

Mr. Iero set his coffee cup down with a dull thump, folding his hands and looking at Gerard purposely before standing up and walking closer, taking a seat at the desk in front of Gerard’s, facing him. 

“We have to talk about what happened in the bathroom the other day,” Mr. Iero told him, his voice almost apologetic. 

Gerard made a noise that admittedly, showed his youth, and he tipped his head back, staring at the ceiling in annoyance. “I don’t want to,” he looked pointedly at his teacher. 

“You’ve been really pale lately, Gerard. Distracted… your grades have dropped significantly, you’re almost failing my course, when at the beginning of the year, you showed no difficulty with your assignments. Have you been having weird… cravings?” Mr. Iero asked, a knowing tone in his voice.

“If you wanna talk to me about my grades, then let’s talk about that. You don’t need to interrogate me like you’re my parent,” Gerard told him, uncomfortable with how much Mr. Iero noticed. 

Mr. Iero sighed and looked away. “Gerard, did you know I used to want to be a doctor?”

“No,” he answered, suspicious as to where this was going.

“I did, when I was your age. I even got into medical school, did that for a few years until I decided that I didn’t really have what it takes. Interning at a hospital was one of the most stressful things I’ve ever done. And I learned about a lot of really interesting things, things that stick with me to this day about our bodies and about illnesses and the way that we work. I guess that’s why I became a biology teacher, because it’s the next best thing, but anyway-“

Gerard was listening intently, watching Mr. Iero as he spoke, looking off at the other side of the classroom.

“-there was this one thing that we learned about that fascinated me, because I’d always been into horror and folklore and stuff like that. What happened was, in northern Europe, up in the mountains like hundreds of years ago, in the seventeenth century or something, there was this- mutation- I guess, that developed because of lack of sunlight and oxygen up in the mountains, where it was dark and rainy all the time. This mutation occurred in the DNA and therefore could be passed down through generations of people, and… it caused them to be extremely sensitive to iron. Their blood had almost no red blood cells in it, that carry oxygen, so they were pale and grew tired quickly, and the only way for them to survive, was… to drink blood.”

Gerard was frozen in his seat. Mr. Iero was talking so casually, but to know that he knew, he knew what Gerard was and what he had to do to survive, Gerard had never been so terrified. But he tried not to show it. 

“And when the people in the towns eventually found out what these people were doing, that they were drinking other people’s blood, obviously they freaked out and tried to kill them, in a Salem Witch Trials type of way. And… that’s where the modern day vampire myth comes from, supposedly.”

“They teach you that in medical school?” Gerard asked, exasperated.

Mr. Iero chuckled. “We were told that it probably wasn’t real. Acute hemolytic deficiency, it’s called. There’s really no scientific proof that it happened, other than historical writings about it. But,” he shrugged, “I believed it.”

Gerard tried to wrap his mind around what Mr. Iero was telling him. This didn’t mean that he had proof that Gerard had this condition. It was just a hunch.

“You’re sick, aren’t you, Gerard?”

“I’m not sick.”

Mr. Iero turned to look at him. “Well you’re clearly not okay.”

“Why do you care so much?” Gerard asked abruptly.

Mr. Iero shook his head. “I don’t know,” he paused, looking thoughtful. “I want to help.”

Gerard scoffed. “You can’t help. You can’t just make this go away,” he lowered his voice. “I’ve always been like this, okay? And I’ve learned to live with it, and deal with it until it goes away, until I need… more. That’s the only thing that I can do.”

“But you’re not taking care of it, Gerard. I never noticed that anything was different about you for a long time, until recently, actually. If we hadn’t done that lab I never would have realized. What changed?”

Gerard looked away. “I don’t want to talk about it,” he said, thinking back to the blood bank shutting down, leaving him and Mikey to scavenge for themselves.

“I want to help you,” Mr. Iero reached out and put his hand on Gerard’s forearm. “You look like you’re gonna pass out every class; I don’t like seeing you suffer.”

Gerard had his eyes closed, teeth clenched, causing his jaw to ache in pain, a good distraction. He could feel every one of Mr. Iero’s fingers over the fabric of his shirt. “Don’t do that.”

He took his hand away quickly. 

“I would do things to help you, you just have to let me,” Mr. Iero told him. He was sat back a small distance, arms crossed now in an effort to stay away from Gerard after he became uncomfortable from him touching his arm.

“Why?” Gerard asked. He looked into his teacher’s eyes, searching for any sort of indication that he could understand where this was coming from. In the back of his mind he knew that he felt other things for Mr. Iero, but in reality, when they were sat face to face, that was just another unrealistic fantasy that lived in his head. Everyone had those. 

Mr. Iero smiled, just a little bit. “We all have our secrets.”

Gerard rolled his eyes. 

“In any case, I do need you to start staying after school to work on your biology homework, because I really don’t want you to fail this class. Your grades have taken a nosedive lately, for whatever reason.”

Gerard nodded solemnly. “I know, I’ve been… distracted. But I’ll try.”

Mr. Iero smiled. “Good. I’ll help you get caught up and hopefully you can finish with a decent mark.”

“Thanks,” Gerard told him. “And you’re not gonna, you know, tell anyone? About what we talked about today, right? Because no one can know.”

“Of course not,” Mr. Iero told him, eyes full of sincerity, as he shook his head. “I would never.”

Gerard nodded, and gathered up his bag. “I guess, I’ll see you tomorrow then,” he told him, feeling a bit awkward as he felt closer to his teacher. He had never talked about something so personal with anyone outside of his family before, let alone his biggest secret, and he couldn’t help but feel a little weird that of all people, Mr. Iero was the one to now know. 

As he went to the door to leave, Mr. Iero walked up and reached around to open the door for him, a normal friendly gesture that Gerard absolutely loathed, because Mr. Iero’s warmth momentarily blanketed his back and his scent (that was naturally more strong around his hair and neck), practically drifted right into his nose. Surprisingly, Gerard realized, that he recognized it as Mr. Iero’s scent. It wasn’t just another person’s smell, that he detected and intensely ignored every day. This was Mr. Iero’s smell. 

As soon as the door was open wide enough, Gerard stumbled out and didn’t look back, wondering in his head when he committed his scent to memory, when he recognized it in the faintest of things, like on the worksheets that were graded and handed back to them.

Mr. Iero was his teacher. This didn’t mean anything.

Yet, as Gerard lay in bed that night, he couldn’t help but think about how Mr. Iero had offered to help him. What exactly did he mean by that? He knew what was wrong with Gerard, what he needed to survive, so how would he be able to keep him alive? He was just a biology teacher. 

Unless he was offering himself, in which case Gerard did not believe, and laughed at himself for even considering. Mr. Iero wouldn’t say that, he wouldn’t offer something like that when he knew what a desperate time Gerard was in. It was probably a misunderstanding. 

Though, as Gerard lay there and let himself consider the outlandish idea that that was what Mr. Iero was insinuating- his mind practically spun at the thought. Someone, Mr. Iero, letting him do that. There would be no struggle, there would be no fight. He’d offer himself to Gerard and hesitantly, gently, Gerard would get close to him, because they had a reason now, after all, and he’d drag his lips across his neck until he found the perfect spot, where he could feel the flow of blood under his skin. 

Gerard groaned, turning over and burying his face into his pillow, pressing his erection into the mattress, feeling almost shameful that he let himself get that far, even in just fantasy. That wasn’t what Mr. Iero meant, and he would be with him every day working on the biology lessons that he had to catch up on. He couldn’t feel this way. It would put Mr. Iero in danger.

And so Gerard frustratedly went to sleep, turned on and hungry, and in the morning he took out his aggression on the misfortunate animals that he was able to catch in the forest, trying to fill himself up to survive his next meeting with Mr. Iero that afternoon. 

Things seemed to go okay then, for a while. Gerard’s life fell into a new sort of normal, hunting in the morning, talking with Ray and Mikey if he felt strong enough in the afternoon, and staying behind in biology to work on his course work with Mr. Iero. 

Gerard was improving bit by bit on his hunting skills, becoming more agile, and learning how to corner an animal in order to attack, and for quite some time his lessons with the biology teacher weren’t even that distracting. Sure, he could still smell him. It washed over him in a wave the second he walked into the classroom, a sweet captivating sort of smell that made him dizzy and almost numbed, but he was getting used to the enjoyable torture of not being able to do anything about it, and as long as Mr. Iero kept a respectable distance, everything would be okay. 

Gerard could tell that Mr. Iero was still concerned for him, he never looked as healthy as he did when he was drinking human blood, but Mr. Iero made no further attempts to try to pry information out of him, or hint at him helping the younger out in any sort of way. The latter of which was never mentioned again, and Gerard was grateful for that fact because he was terrified of what the teacher could have meant. 

(Despite his common sense and respect for his fragile psyche, he sometimes let himself ponder what it would be like if Mr. Iero did mean that he would offer himself up to Gerard, just enough for him to survive on. He always felt guilty going into school the next day, knowing that imagined taking advantage of his biology teacher in more ways than one. Gerard wasn’t really sure why his thoughts that started out simply with being thirsty were suddenly laced with sexual undertones, but he guessed it was because he had never let himself think about drinking from a real live person before. Not one that he knew and smelled and sometimes accidentally felt every day, with Mr. Iero’s gentle hand on his shoulder, always encouraging and warm, expressing his faith in him.)

But as the weeks went on, it took Mikey and Gerard longer to hunt in the morning, soon the boys had to get up earlier each morning to try to catch their prey, sometimes going together to see if it would make the hunt easier. The small animals that once littered the forest were fewer and farther between, and upon a slow realization one day, they realized that they were overhunting the area. 

With the barest amount of blood in their systems to even call it any, the two eventually shuffled off to school, wary of the fact that things weren’t looking up for them. Unless they started to try to take down larger animals, they might have to start thinking about leaving their childhood home and moving somewhere else where there were more small animals to hunt. Gerard knew that this was a problem, the smaller animals did a bad job at filling them up, and they therefore needed to catch more of them to survive on. He knew that anywhere they travelled, they would eventually encounter the same problems. The thought of constantly having to migrate around, following the food source in order to survive, never having a stable home again left him with a queasy feeling. For the first time in a long time, he missed when his grandmother took care of them, and he never had to worry about feeding himself. He could just be a regular kid, who drank blood from time to time. 

But now it was almost as if his every thought revolved around the substance, either him trying to keep his craving under control, convince himself that he had enough to eat, that he wasn’t hungry, and that he wouldn’t hurt anyone around him left him in a constant state of worry.

Maybe it was the fact that him and Mikey had been living off of so little blood for so long that they didn’t question going in to school that day, but it wasn’t until the day was closer to its finish that Gerard realized he was in more dire straights than he previously thought. 

As the kids all shuffled out of the classroom at end of the day, Gerard’s head spun as he was pulled out of his thoughts. He didn’t even remember what he was thinking about, he zoned out until the last students were leaving the room, and then he registered the pounding in his head that he hadn’t noticed was there before. 

Mr. Iero was gathering up the papers on his desk at the front of the room like always, and Gerard tried to pull himself together before their work session, knowing that he wouldn’t be able to concentrate on anything unless he felt a little more sane. He didn’t know what was going on, but he was almost positive it had something to do with the fact that he’d never gone so long with this little blood before.

“Ready to get started?” Mr. Iero asked, standing up and grabbing his coffee cup, fixing the shoulder of his cardigan that was slipping down over top of his button-up shirt. He pushed his hair behind his ear and made his way over to Gerard’s desk, sitting backwards in the one in front of him, like always. 

As soon as Mr. Iero got into his vicinity, Gerard was hit with an instinct to- well, practically jump on him. Bring him to the floor and hold him down, stifling any moves to get away by biting deep into his neck, pinning him down. 

Gerard breathed out a little faster, his eyes slipping anywhere but his teacher, that was looking at him curiously. 

“Did you get your homework done last night, Gerard?” Mr. Iero asked, his voice laced with concern at Gerard’s unusual (more so than normal) behaviour.

“Mhmm,” Gerard nodded, pushing the paper closer to him, not daring having their fingers accidentally touch. Mr. Iero got his marking pen out of his pocket and held the paper, looking at it in concentration as he began marking it, writing small notes every once in a while. Gerard practically stared at his face the whole time, studying his scrunched eyebrows and darting eyes, little hums of approval, or tiny winces when Gerard got something wrong. 

Mr. Iero spun the paper around so that Gerard could look at it, pointing out his few mistakes. Gerard’s eyes scanned over it quickly, not really paying attention. “On this one, you said that it was the circulatory system, which isn’t actually right, because-“ Mr. Iero leaned in to explain, using his pen to motion on the different parts of the diagram, leaving his hair deathly close to Gerard’s face.

“Can we,” Gerard leant back a bit, “Could you maybe, I mean, do you think you could sit in a different desk?” Gerard asked. He felt horrible for saying it the second it left his mouth, but his control was wearing thin.

Mr. Iero looked up at him, surprised. “Oh, you mean…” he trailed off. “Yeah, I can. Sorry. Would that make you feel better?” he asked, already getting up and sitting at a desk adjacent to Gerard. 

“Yeah, um, a bit,” Gerard told him, avoiding his eyes. He didn’t really realize he had his fingers curled over the side of his desk, digging his fingernails into the wood underneath.

Gerard was staring down at his desk, face pained in concentration as he tried to reel himself in. He could get through this. They were just a little too close, this was nothing he couldn’t handle, Gerard tried to reason with himself, although there was a voice in the back of his mind warning him that he had never felt this bad before, that this was different. That this was the time where he should give up the fight and flee, pride be damned. 

Mr. Iero was watching him helplessly, and the air grew thick with tension as it became clear to both of them that the degree of Gerard’s struggle wasn’t a secret anymore. Gerard wasn’t sure how Mr. Iero would feel about knowing that his student was trying his best not rip out his throat. Perhaps he felt terrified, watching the younger holding himself together by the thinnest thread, or maybe all the felt was pity for the kid. Gerard wasn’t at all sure how he saw him.

“Why won’t you let me help you?” Mr. Iero asked suddenly, pulling them both out of this extended silence. The clock had ticked by many minutes, of which they were both supposed to be working on the course material, but that had been abandoned for the more important task of Gerard needing a minute to hold himself together and snap himself out of this all consuming migraine that had been plaguing him that day. 

Mr. Iero’s voice was unlike his teacher voice. He didn’t sound confident or authoritative, he didn’t sound like the adult that he usually did. Gerard admired him for the fact that he always seemed like he had everything together. He was always in control of the class, he was always well-dressed, he always had his cup of coffee, and he was never late. He was reliable. 

When there was a fire drill that past month, he corralled the kids out into the hall and out into that back field, calm and collected, never acting annoyed or out of control like some of the other teachers with the task of rallying thirty teenagers. And this made Gerard feel safe around him, in a way that felt almost sickening to him because it reminded him of his grandmother, whom he’d gone without for many years now. But this was different from that relationship because when Mr. Iero smiled at him his stomach felt warm, and his jokes made him laugh, and the fact that he cared if Gerard was sick or tired or struggling made him happy in a way that he never felt before. 

And yet he knew that it was wrong, because Mr. Iero was much older than him, and he’d done nothing but been kind, and he would probably be utterly uncomfortable with the fact that Gerard was slowly harbouring these feelings for him that would probably end in the younger’s heart being crushed.

Gerard took a deep breath, his head down. “Because you can’t help me.”

“…But, I could, though,” Mr. Iero said after a beat, his voice cautious, like he was tip-toeing around around a bomb.

His words sank in Gerard’s stomach like a heavy weight, resting there, resonating their connotation over and over in his head. 

Gerard clenched his fists. “Don’t say that,” he snapped his head up, glaring at him, his voice with an aggressive edge. 

“Why, Gerard? I don’t like seeing you in pain,” Mr. Iero told him. He was perched on a desk across the walkway from Gerard, looking as if he wanted to get closer, but holding himself back. 

“There’s only one way that you could help me, and we both know that that’s not going to happen. I don’t… do that. To people. If that’s what you’re thinking.”

“Well… how else do you survive?” he asked.

Gerard just shook his head. He wasn’t about to explain his disgusting habits to him, of all people. 

“I think I just need to get out of here,” Gerard said, standing up. But as he stood, gathering his books, his body lurched and swayed, the room spinning and tilting off axis, throwing him stumbling into the desks in front of him, his vision blurring out at the edges. 

“Whoa,” Mr. Iero stood up quickly and reached out, steadying him and pulling him upright by bracing his arms. His eyes scanned Gerard’s face, looking for signs of what to do, although alarmingly, neither of them knew what was happening to Gerard in this level of starvation. 

The room blurred out and then slowly came back into focus, Mr. Iero’s chest swimming into clarity in front of him as he was held securely upright. Gerard tried to stumble back, his hands gripping the teacher’s arms to push him away, but he was too weak. His body felt tired and his vision was going in and out like static on an old TV.

“Here, sit down,” Mr. Iero guided him to his desk, and as he went to pull away, Gerard’s hands were loosely curled in the front of his shirt. He looked down and didn’t know what to do. Gerard was clearly fighting within himself against his instincts.

Gerard’s mind was hazy, and for a moment he forgot where he was, he was enraptured with the scent that was blanketing him warmly, so close, almost as if it was really right under his nose. 

Mr. Iero watched as Gerard pressed his face into his shirt for a moment, just above his stomach since the younger was sitting down, his eyes closed. His mouth opened briefly and Mr. Iero saw two small fangs, Gerard’s breath hot through the fabric of his shirt. 

And then, as fast as it happened, Gerard shoved him away, coming to his senses as he looked up at his teacher, the latter of which just looked worried, and he pushed himself out of his desk on shaky legs, hurrying to leave the classroom as quickly as he could and out of the nearly empty school. 

Gerard’s head swam, he couldn’t believe what he’d done, how close he’d gotten to actually doing something to him. He wasn’t sure what had happened, he almost passed out for a second there, and as he pushed out of the heavy school doors and down the road, he breathed out shakily, feeling as if he just had a near death experience, though that probably wasn’t true. 

Though, the farther Gerard got from the school and the more secluded the area got from the busy streets surrounding the building, he didn’t feel any better. In fact, Gerard drug himself down the path, only finding his way because of the sheer amount of times he’d walked this route, and as his mind wandered in loops circling again and again what happened in the classroom, reality flickered in and out and Gerard wasn’t sure if Mr. Iero was still holding him or whether he was still walking home. 

But then, he was still, and he closed his eyes, if they weren’t closed already. ‘I want to help you’, echoed through his mind. He thought of the voice, and it’s texture, how it felt in his ears and in his soul. He felt rough dirt under his palm, and he let himself stop worrying for a little while. 

Slowly, the sun slipped down behind the line of trees in the distance, and the air settled down into a night chill.

“Shit,” a voice exclaimed from far away, floating nearer as if yelled through a tunnel to a far away land. 

Then suddenly, strong hands were grabbing and pulling, the black expanse of nothingness slipping farther and farther away as sounds and sensations were bleeding back into existence. That familiar scent, like old spice and honey and warm skin weaved the threads of consciousness back together, and slowly Gerard could feel his body swaying back and forth, his head slipping limply off of someone’s shoulder.

Gravity seemed to tip itself right side up as Gerard was standing leaning against something, his eyes slowly opening as he tried to figure out what was going on. He blinked away the fog and saw that it was dusk, the streetlights shining dimly in the distance. A strong arm was around his waist, holding him up, and a car door was swung open beside him, making him look over.

“Mr. Iero?” Gerard breathed out.

Mr. Iero looked down at him, half pushing half lifting him into the back seat. “Oh thank god,” he sighed, leaning against the frame of the door and sliding his hands down his face, rubbing at his eyes for a second. Gerard was still a little out of it, he watched with a sort of detachment that came from waking up after blacking out.

“Where did you come from?”

“The school,” he replied, leaning into the car and placing his hand on Gerard’s forehead, pushing his hair back to feel his temperature. “How do you feel?”

Gerard thought about it, instantly recognizing the pounding headache, the burning in his gums and throat. “Bad,” he told him, his throat scratchy.

“Fuck, I’m taking you home,” Mr. Iero said, leaning back and shutting the car door suddenly, going into the drivers side and getting in. 

“To your house?” Gerard asked.

Mr. Iero glanced at him in the rearview mirror as he turned back onto the street. “Yes,” he told him, as if it was obvious.

“Why?”

“How long’s it been since you ate?” he asked.

“…Two days ago, I think.”

Mr. Iero sighed. “You’re lucky you don’t have brain damage. Don’t your parents know you’re starving yourself?”

Gerard didn’t answer. Mr. Iero glanced back at him again at a red light, but Gerard was just looking solemnly out the window. 

“My name’s Frank.”

Gerard looked up at him. Frank. 

“I figured we’re crossing a boundary here already, so,” he shrugged, continuing to drive. Gerard was thankful he didn’t ask to drive him back to his place. He wasn’t sure what he would have done. His and Mikey’s house was a little unsettling, to say the least. On the outskirts of town, the yard nothing but dead grass and one rotting tree. That’s something that Frank did not need to see. (It was weird referring to him with his first name, Gerard thought, though decidedly not in a bad way.)

Soon they pulled up to a small house in one of the quiet neighbourhoods, completely unsuspecting and normal. Gerard was almost a little surprised. He thought about Frank, he’ll admit, and after learning things about someone who was once shrouded in mystery, seeing the beige house on Crescent Drive was pleasantly anti-climactic. It made him seem more like a real man instead of someone who existed only in the confines of the school. 

Frank went around the car and opened the door for Gerard, helping him when he stepped out with weak knees. He felt a little shaky, and Frank walked him up to his front door, unlocking it with an arm around Gerard’s waist, before opening it and letting him in. 

As Gerard stepped into the house and Frank closed the door behind them, Frank’s scent washed over him like a tidal wave. He pressed himself against the wall as he felt his gums throb in pain, his fangs desperately wanting to poke though. But Gerard kept his distance from Frank as he was seemingly unsuspecting of the sudden agony Gerard was in, facing away from him and taking off his many layers of sweaters and his shoes.

“Let me take your jacket,” Frank said, walking closer to Gerard and helping him push it off his shoulders since he was so weak. But as Frank stepped into his personal space, Gerard’s walls fell down, safe in Frank’s home and alone, he pushed forward and pressed his forehead to his collar bone, clutching at his shirt.

His jacket thumped to the floor and he felt Frank place a steadying hand on his back. “It’s okay,” he told him.

Gerard just clutched at his shirt, breathing him in and feeling his fangs extend all the way. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

Frank huffed out a laugh. “You’re weak as fuck right now, don’t worry. Here, come sit down,” he pulled him off of the wall and into his living room, letting him fall down onto the couch. 

“It’s just…” Gerard tried to explain. “I’ve always got blood from… secondary sources. I’ve never drank from a person before, because I didn’t want to do it against someone’s will.”

“Never?” Frank asked, surprised. He was sitting closely beside him, in his dim living room. Coffee cups and books sat on the coffee table, a bookshelf stuffed with DVD’s sat against the wall, and there was a throw blanket laying over the  
back of the couch.

Gerard shook his head.

“Well, nobody’s ever drank my blood before,” he smiled at the younger, who looked pale and tired leaning against the couch. 

“Okay…” Gerard told him, pushing himself up a bit, getting closer. “I’m sorry,” he told him quietly as he leaned in. 

Frank was totally still as Gerard placed a hand on his side to steady himself, bringing his face to the older’s neck and pressing it there for a second. He heard as Frank swallowed thickly in his throat. 

Gerard breathed in deeply, letting his scent, so strong swirl around his head and drive his instincts insane, the thirst thrumming through his body as the feather light touch of Frank’s neck to his lips was felt. Heat was radiating off of Frank, and he could hear him breathing, quick and anticipatory, and the fact that Gerard was allowed to do this, that he didn’t have to fight against this urge like he had to in that classroom every day was incomprehensible.

His hand subconsciously curled into Frank’s shirt at his side as he opened his mouth, rubbing his nose over his skin to find the right spot. Since he’d never done this before with a person, he was just going with his instincts. His instincts told him to taste him without the blood overwhelming his skin first, and although this instinct was less thirst related and more hormone related, he let it slide, rubbing his tongue along the pulse point of Frank’s neck. 

Frank made a small noise at this but Gerard was too in the zone to notice. 

Soon, licking turned into sucking, and Gerard got lost momentarily in tasting him, sucking at his flesh again and again, until he chose just the right spot. He moved his hand up to the other side of Frank’s neck to hold him steady, dragging his teeth up his chosen spot before moving his tongue back and sinking his fangs in. 

Frank moved against him, but Gerard pressed in further, completely out of his mind with the sensations that were whirling around him. He was surprised at how soft Frank’s neck was, how easy it was to bite into him. But then when the blood started flowing, there wasn’t another thought in his head. 

Hot blood poured into his mouth, coppery and strong, but tasting like Frank. Exactly how he smelled, it was a thousand times better. Gerard might have made a noise in the back of his throat as he swallowed again and again, feeling as if he hadn’t eaten in so long. The animal blood didn’t really satisfy him like human blood had, and now having it back, but better, was deeply satisfying.

But soon, in the back of his mind he knew that he had to stop, because Frank could only go with losing so much blood. With the blood in his system, he felt so warm inside, a swirling, content sort of feeling in his stomach. Pulling out his fangs, he sucked on the wound a little bit to clean it up, licking over it so it would heal. 

Gerard leaned back, his mouth wet with saliva and blood, and he looked up at Frank who was panting, a dazed sort of look in his eyes. Gerard looked back at him, something dropping in his stomach at the sight of the older man, his mouth open slightly and face flushed. A different sort of heat spread through Gerard’s body at the sight of him.

Gerard moved closer to him, fascinated, almost, with the state that Frank was in. Seeing him uncomposed like this was new and interesting. He glanced from his lips, pink and bitten like they always were, down his body. His dress shirt was pushed up a little bit, showing the barest sliver of stomach, and the undeniable sight of the hardness in his jeans, pressing against his fly.

Thoughtlessly, Gerard slid his hand from the couch to Frank’s thigh, going towards his crotch, but Frank caught his wrist in time. “No,” he said shaking his head, his voice deep

Gerard took his hand back from Frank’s strong grip and looked down at his lap, embarrassed. There was a long pause as Frank presumably composed himself, running his hand through his hair and calming down. 

“Do you wanna stay here tonight, in the guest room?” Frank asked, after a long while. “I’d drop you off at home, but it’s just… I don’t want anyone to see me there, y’know?”

Gerard nodded. “Yeah, I understand.” Even though really, Frank had nothing to worry about, because the only person that would see him was Mikey, but Gerard didn’t really feel like explaining his situation in that moment. Plus, he and Mikey swore that they they would never tell anyone they lived alone until Mikey was eighteen, for fear that someone would call child services and put them into foster care. They were tough, they could take care of themselves. And Gerard was almost eighteen anyway, he reasoned.

“Thank you, for like. Helping me out.”

Frank smiled and patted his knee. “It’s no problem. I wouldn’t- I could never just leave you there.”

Something twisted at Gerard’s heart hearing that. A look passed over Frank’s face in a flash, maybe regret that he told him that, but it was too late. Gerard didn’t think he was crazy in thinking that there was possibly something between them. Frank just said these things that were so kind, as if everyone did as much as he did for other people, even though that was not the case. Sometimes it made Gerard feel delusional, but then again, he reminded himself, he was sitting in Frank’s living room right now, so that spoke for something.

“Do you need to call home, tell anyone you’re gonna be gone?” 

Gerard looked away. Frank wasn’t being very subtle in his curiosity about his home life, it was his main concern from the beginning. 

“Yeah, uh, I’ll go say I’m staying at a friend’s,” Gerard told him, and got up, feeling much better now with some blood in his system, and he went to the entry way to get his phone out of his jacket. 

He dialled Mikey’s number, calling simply for Frank’s peace of mind that his parents didn’t think he was missing, and his brother picked up on the first ring. 

“Where are you?”

“I’m at a friend’s house, just letting you know I won’t be home tonight.”

“Whose?” Mikey asked.

“…Ray’s,” Gerard guessed, hoping that Mikey wasn’t with him right now. 

“Really? Ray didn’t say anything about hanging out with you tonight.”

“It was a last minute thing. I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”

“You caught someone, right?”

Gerard didn’t respond. 

“I knew it would only be a matter of time before you caved. Pete found out about me the other day and let me drink from him. Saw a bloodstain on my shirt that I missed.”

“I have to go, I’ll talk to you later,” Gerard said, knowing that Frank was most likely listening from the other room. He wouldn’t blame him. 

“Good luck, don’t kill them” Mikey said and hung up, leaving Gerard to breathe out a sigh of relief and put away his phone. 

Gerard hung his coat back up and went into the living room, finding it empty, and following the noise of cupboards opening and closing into the kitchen. 

Walking into the small, tidy kitchen, complete with an island counter, little dining table, and a picturesque window facing the trees outside, Gerard found Frank standing at the counter eating something out of a bowl he’d warmed up. 

He glanced at Gerard as he walked in hesitantly. “You can sit if you want,” he gestured to the stools.

Gerard felt a little awkward again as the heat of their previous moment had passed and the reality that he was in his teacher’s home dawned upon him once again. He had an unsettling feeling that Frank was still thinking about what Gerard was about to do back there. But it didn’t look like Frank was agonizing over it, not outwardly at least. 

Frank looked pretty damn normal standing across from him with his sleeves rolled up, eating leftovers, and looking at Gerard every once in a while with a shy sort of smile on his face.

Gerard absentmindedly let his eyes run over Frank’s tattooed arms for a second without making it too obvious. How he got the teaching job looking like that, Gerard will never know. Maybe that’s why he wore so many cardigans.

“How’d you know you didn’t want to be a doctor?” Gerard didn’t know why he asked. It was quiet in the kitchen, almost totally dark outside, with nothing but Frank’s fork clinking against the side of the dish and a thoughtful sort of atmosphere. 

Frank took a second to think about it. “Well, I did it initially because I wanted to help people. And when I was in medical school, it all seemed so easy, you know?” he took another bite of food. “You find out what’s wrong with somebody, you do a procedure, you fix them. That’s that. You send them on their way. But when I started my surgical internship I realized that it’s much more complicated then that.”

“How so?”

“Sometimes you can’t figure out what’s wrong with people. Or you do the procedure and it doesn’t work. Sometimes you know exactly what to do, but you don’t do it in time and something bad happens. People count on you, that you can fix them, no matter what. But… sometimes you do absolutely everything right, and they die anyway.” He took a drink of water.

Gerard just watched him, wanting him to go on. 

“So I quit. Kinda cowardly, right?” he asked, sardonically, placing his dishes in the sink.

“No,” Gerard told him.

“I just couldn’t handle the stress. And things more often not going your way…” he shook his head and shrugged, both of his hands gripping the edge of the countertop. 

“Well, you still help people, for what it’s worth.”

Frank looked at him.

“Most teachers don’t really care that much about their students, but, you’re always making sure everyone’s okay. You’ve been tutoring me everyday on your own time and I don’t think any other teachers would do that.”

Frank smiled warmly at him. “You’re a really great kid, Gerard.”

And just like that, Gerard’s heart stuttered and sank with the weight of all of his stupid fluttery feeling about the older man. A kid. That’s all he really would be, right? The smile drifted off his face, and he sat there, examining the granite tabletop and wishing to disappear. 

“It’s getting late, let me show you your room,” Frank told him, and turned to leave the kitchen. Whether he noticed Gerard’s change in attitude, he didn’t let on.

Gerard got up and followed him solemnly into the hallway, stopping by Frank outside the first door on the right. 

Frank opened the door and turned on the light. “The sheets are clean. And the bathroom’s across the hall,” he told him, walking back out of the room.

“Thanks,” Gerard said, just standing there.

Frank looked him once more and turned to leave, walking the opposite way. “Night,” he said, turning into another room of the house, and like that, Gerard was alone.

He went into the guest room, shutting the door and turning the light out, flopping down on the bed. “Fuck,” he said to himself, quietly. Since when was he in so deep?

He turned onto his side and pressed his face into the pillow, feeling defeated and hollow. Frank didn’t owe him anything, it was ridiculous to even entertain the idea of anything happening between them. Gerard always knew that his little fantasy was nothing more than that. But when he actually drank his blood… Gerard sighed. He felt something that was more just lust or circumstantial excitement. 

Frank taking him home and caring for him was confusing, and stupidly, got his hopes up, but now Gerard was resigned to believe that that was just Frank’s nature. To care for the sick little kids that couldn’t help themselves. Gerard was nothing more than a patient that needed healing, something to rest the older man’s conscience. 

With nothing but his disappointment to comfort him, Gerard fell asleep, visions of warm smiles and deep hazel eyes making him toss and turn frustratedly. 

Frank drove them to school the next morning, pleasantries were exchanged between them but even after a full night’s sleep, an obvious feeling hung in the air between them. One that made it hard for Gerard to say a word edgewise, for fear of what, he didn’t know, but it was clear that whatever this feeling was had not yet had time to settle. 

When Frank dropped them off at the school, he parted ways quickly, saying that he needed to set up his classroom for that day’s classes, and Gerard watched him disappear down the hallway, feeling an unpleasant sort of emptiness despite being in a crowd of people. 

Before he could dwell on it, though, he saw Ray and walked up to him quickly, weaving though the throng of people. He asked him to cover for him if Mikey asked about last night, and although Ray was suspicious, he obliged. 

“You’re not doing anything dangerous, are you?” he asked, as they walked to their first class. 

Gerard bit his lip and hiked his bag up his shoulder where it was slipping down. “No, it’s fine. I’ll explain later, once this is cleared up, maybe.”

Ray looked at him, his kind eyes full of concern, but didn’t push any further thankfully for Gerard. 

That day went by quite uneventfully, Gerard spent lunch outside for a smoke break like usual, and mulled over the previous night’s events in the solitude of the back parking lot. He didn’t really get anywhere, replayed the noise that Frank made as his lips touched his skin over and over in his head until he couldn’t really remember it anymore, raising the cigarette to his lips absentmindedly until it was nothing but a stub. 

When Gerard walked into biology that afternoon, he felt stupid for having this thing in the back of his mind that for some reason it would be different now. But as he crossed that threshold, Frank was there standing in front of his computer deep in a conversation with another student, and he didn’t look up as Gerard entered the room. 

Gerard hesitated for a moment, and then went back to his desk, slumping and looking at the familiar carvings in the wooden surface of his desk, scratched through enough times that they were deep and messy. ‘Cunt’ was in the top right corner. He traced over it with his pen. 

Staying late that day was even worse. Frank just sat there and graded papers as Gerard did questions out of the textbook. When their usual amount of time was up, Gerard packed his things up, leaving without as so much as a wave, knowing that Frank wasn’t ready to talk yet, if he’d ever be. 

When he walked into the dark kitchen when he got home, he found a hastily scribbled note from Mikey saying that he was out with friends and to go hunting without him if he wanted. Gerard sighed and went down to his room, dropping his shit on the floor. 

In the back of his mind he knew that they’d have to slowly transition to only relying on humans for their food source if they wanted to stay in Belleville, and at this stage in their life while attending high school, moving away wasn’t really an option. It’s not like they had a lot of money anyway. Their grandma left them all she had when she’d passed away, and Mikey and him were saving it for rent and utilities and maybe college, some day. Gerard knew college was right around the corner, but he didn’t really give himself enough time to think about it. It seemed unimportant and lightyears away when his own wellbeing was being tested each day, worrying about if he’d be able to catch enough to eat, if he’d be able to hold out and control himself.

He wandered out into the forest that night, not really finding enough to fill him up, but it was enough to survive on. 

Gerard tried to distract himself that night, think about something else, but no matter what it was, it didn’t really seem to work. It wasn’t until Mikey was heard banging through the door, letting it slam behind him late at night that Gerard finally went to bed, restless and caught up in his own mind as he actively not thought about the issue at hand. He couldn’t help but feel guilty for the way that he felt. He wasn’t supposed to feel that way, after all. Frank was supposed to be a mentor to him, someone to trust, someone to teach him and nurture him and watch him grow. He wasn’t supposed to want him. 

He pulled a pillow into his body and held it, closing his eyes in the pitch black room. It hurt how much he did, though.

The next day rolled around, and then the next. Ray soon forgot about Gerard’s odd favour and things faded back to normal, Frank almost going back to just his teacher, with the amount that he talked to him, although he’d never be just Mr. Iero again in his eyes. 

One day in biology Gerard went up to Frank’s desk to hand an assignment in, placing it in the folder on his desk. Frank was standing there shuffling through a pile of something else, and he reached up, pushing his hair behind his ear that was obscuring his vision. And there, Gerard saw it. Two puncture wounds, so faded and healed over that you wouldn’t be able to tell unless you knew exactly what to look for, and for Gerard, it was clear as day. 

Frank glanced at him, noticing him standing there, and as he met his eyes he looked back to what he was doing, fixing his hair so that it fell over his neck once again. Gerard turned around and went to his desk, but didn’t get anything constructive done for the rest of the day. 

After school now, Frank was just sitting at his desk at the front of the room while Gerard worked, doing something on his computer before usually telling Gerard he could go home whenever he wanted. Gerard still stayed, at least for a little bit, to see if maybe that was the day that Frank would act like his old self again, the one that Gerard was sure would come back any day now, but the days passed and it never really happened.

Three weeks had gone by and Gerard was losing hope. He’d stopped staying after school since he didn’t really need to anymore anyway. School was off for spring break, and Gerard was losing himself hidden away in his and Mikey’s old house, getting lost in the maze of his thoughts and going for long periods of time without doing anything at all. Mikey was out almost all the time, and although they tried to hunt together sometimes, Gerard couldn’t help but feel bleak.

It was kind of pathetic, but he’d never really had anyone interested in him before Frank. (In whatever manner that was, Gerard didn’t truly know. Frank was acting like they had a purely professional relationship, but Gerard didn’t really believe that. He knew what he felt before he went too far with it. The way Frank looked at him and talked to him, smiling as if Gerard was the single ray of light illuminating the room. Gerard knew he wasn’t mistaken about that, it was the only thing he clung onto to make himself feel better.)

In a realistic sense, that was probably why Gerard was so hung up on him, he gathered. He couldn’t really have other crushes, he didn’t let himself for the fear of getting to close too them and losing control of himself, getting them hurt. This was his fear with Frank also, but he was forced to be around him every day, and after he’d learned that he could drink from him safely (and more important, consensually), it made him even more enthralled in the older man, because he didn’t know that such things were even possible. That he had the strength to not hurt the ones he cared about. 

It was a week since he’d last seen him, and after a while, Gerard began doubting his own perception of what had happened those past few months. He sat upright off of the couch one day, startling himself with a realization that he hadn’t stumbled upon before. 

What if it was all in Gerard’s head and Frank never felt any sort of way about him at all?

A crushing sense of hopelessness slid down onto Gerard like never before, heavy and unsettling in the pit of his stomach. 

Gerard got up and left his house, his chest tight feeling as if he almost couldn’t breathe as he thought in horror about what had happened. Him coming on to Frank. He felt almost sick, wondering if he was just some kid with an inappropriate crush in Frank’s eyes. If Gerard made him uncomfortable.

It couldn’t be true. Frank cared about him, right? Gerard walked faster, his feet moving without thought as his mind spun. Frank holding him, their eyes meeting across the room. Glances at lips, hushed conversations, Gerard’s heart squeezing in his chest. Walking home happy. Having something to wake up for. The wind whipped in Gerard’s face and a tear slid off his cheek.

He walked up porch steps and knocked without letting himself hesitate. A few heartpounding seconds later, the door swung open and Frank looked at him in surprise, not saying anything. 

The question was on the tip of Gerard’s tongue, but seeing Frank for the first time in a long time up close momentarily distracted him. His stubble had grown in a little bit, his hair messy, with an old faded t-shirt on instead of his work clothes.

“Do I mean anything to you? Or am I just a student?” Gerard asked. It felt like the neighbourhood was holding it’s breath in silence, nothing but the ticking of a sprinkler in the background. 

Frank’s face scrunched up, Gerard didn’t know if it was in annoyance or something else. He guessed he didn’t know him well enough to tell. 

“Gerard- you can’t ask me that.”

“But I need to know.” Gerard didn’t care if he sounded desperate. He couldn’t stand it anymore. 

Frank sighed and looked around, across the street. “Come in,” he told him quietly, dejected. 

Gerard entered and Frank shut the door behind him. He kicked off his shoes, and Frank went into the kitchen. Gerard followed.

“When’d you eat last?” Frank asked.

“A while ago. I’m fine,” Gerard told him, not wanting him to change the subject. 

“You look pale.”

“Why do you care?” Gerard asked.

Frank sighed, leaning against the counter, rubbing his hand down his face. “Because I don’t want you to be sick.”

“Why?” Gerard pressed.

Frank looked at him warningly. “I just don’t.”

“So me staying after school, that was just to work on coursework?”

“Yes, it was.”

“I don’t believe you.” Gerard’s voice was raw sounding, betraying him.

“If you’re here to drink from me, you can, but otherwise…” 

“I’m not here for your blood,” he said exasperatedly.

Frank shook his head sadly. “Then you have to go.”

“Why are you doing this? I want the Frank that was here before,” Gerard’s voice was quiet and shaky.

Frank hung his head, his hair obscuring his face. “Gerard-” he said, pained.

Gerard rushed towards him and pushed him back against the fridge, some sort of wall crumbling down inside of him that was making him hold back. Frank’s voice hurt him more than anything. 

Frank’s back hit the fridge and Gerard buried his face in his neck, arms loosely around his waist. A few sobs escaped his body and he hated pathetic he was being. But he hadn’t been around Frank like this in so long, and he was so incredibly warm. His house smelled familiar. 

After a second, Frank wrapped his arms around Gerard, his jaw resting against Gerard’s hair as he held the back of his head gently. Gerard’s eyes were crushed closed, and he rubbed his face on the collar of Frank’s shirt slightly, revelling in the feeling of him.

“You’re just hungry,” Frank tried running his fingers through Gerard’s hair, but there were too many tangles. “Drink from me, you’ll feel better.”

It didn’t take a lot to convince Gerard.

He tilted his head up without opening his eyes, letting his mouth press against Frank’s neck, dragging around slightly as he familiarized himself again. Letting his lips fall open, he kissed up Frank’s neck, stopping to suck at a spot he really liked, running his tongue along the skin. 

“Bite,” Frank told him, his voice constrained. Gerard obeyed, sinking his teeth in slowly, his gums throbbing in anticipation as he began to drain the blood into his mouth with a slight pressure. Frank’s arms tightened around him, but he barely noticed, breathing out hot, swallowing thickly, pressing closer to him. He pulled his fangs out after a few good mouthfuls, getting a bit more out of the wound as he sucked at it hungrily, licking at it so it would begin to clot up. 

Gerard panted heavily and rested his forehead on Frank’s neck, feeling the heat radiating between them and that familiar comfort in his stomach, partly because of the blood and partly because of something else. He dragged his head up and met Frank’s eyes, his just now fluttering open, his face still tinted pink and bottom lip almost torn to shreds.

Their arms were still around each other, though loosely, and Gerard glanced from Frank’s lips to his eyes, sliding his thigh in between Frank’s slowly. The older’s eyes widened slightly, pushing Gerard away gently by his waist. “We’re not doing that,” he told him, breathless.

“I want you,” Gerard told him honestly. He did. Frank knew that, but he couldn’t restrain any longer, wait around for Frank to do something, settling for a hand on his shoulder. Frank would never make the first move. 

“You don’t want me. You’re confused,” Frank told him, voice speaking with pity.

“I’m not,” Gerard urged.

“You’re hungry and I’m your food source. Your parents aren’t around and I was there…” Frank said quietly. “You don’t want me. You want someone to take care of you, like you should.”

“I don’t want a parent! You don’t know, don’t say that I’m confused when I know _exactly_ how I feel,” Gerard’s voice was angry. 

“How am I supposed to trust you?” his voice had the edge that matched Gerard’s.

“‘Cause I’m a child, right?”

“No, ‘cause you don’t know any better.”

“I know what I want! So what if I need you, Frank? If I want you to take care of me?” Gerard’s eyes welled up and tears slipped slipped down his face. “I need you,” he cried, hands gripping Frank’s shirt. 

With a pained face, Frank surged forward and kissed him hard, his hand sliding into Gerard’s hair at the back of his neck, pushing him forward to the counter as their lips moved together, pushing his tongue into Gerard’s mouth with force. 

Gerard hit the counter behind him and Frank pressed him against it, kissing hungrily in a flurry of pent up emotions and months of emotional turmoil. Gerard sucked on his tongue until they leant back momentarily to breathe, their lips not leaving each other as Frank lifted him up by the back of his thighs suddenly, moving between his legs on the counter as they kissed again. 

Gerard’s hand was around the back of Frank’s neck, the other gripping his shoulder as their tongues rubbed together before Frank sucked on his lower lip. A few tears still tracked down Gerard’s face, he couldn’t stop it, but now it was more out of relief than anything. He had this unexplainable feeling in his chest of a dam being broken open, everything pouring out of him in giant, strong waves that made him feel out of control. He wrapped his legs around Frank’s waist and held onto him tight, hoping to not get carried away out to sea, trusting that Frank would keep him safe right there, in his kitchen.

Gerard pressed his hips forward out of instinct, and a whine escaped the back of his throat as they grinded against each other through their jeans. He could feel Frank hard against him, and he tightened his legs around his waist, Frank ducking his head down to Gerard’s neck to kiss open mouthed there, taste him like Gerard had done before. 

Frank groaned, low in his throat and wrapped his arms around Gerard’s waist, pulling him off the counter. “Do you wanna go to the bedroom?” he asked, voice wrecked. 

“Yes,” Gerard nodded.

Frank kissed him again and led him there, Gerard wasn’t really watching where they were going until they were in Frank’s bedroom, a place he’d never been before. They walked, connected, to the bed and Gerard pulled him down on top of him. 

They went back to kissing, legs slotted together, and now they could grind together properly, feeling Frank’s thigh shift against his hard on made Gerard gasp and push up against him. 

Frank licked into his mouth again and again, rolling his hips against the younger man before he broke their kiss, pushing the latter’s t-shirt up and kissing around his stomach, taking his time and travelling up to his chest. 

Gerard put his hands into Frank’s hair and writhed around as he kissed and bit wherever he pleased, licking his tongue over Gerard’s nipple for a moment.

Gerard dragged him back up and kissed him again, growing sloppier as he reached down and put his palms on Frank’s ass, squeezing and pressing him against himself. 

His dick was throbbing and uncomfortable by this point, the zipper painful, and Gerard moved his leg to the outside of Frank’s so that the older was laying in between his. “Please,” he breathed out.

Frank sat up, Gerard’s legs bent on either side of him and undid the button of the younger’s jeans, sliding the zipper down. With his fly wide open, the line of his dick through his underwear was clear. The head, flushed compared to the pale tone of his skin, was pressing underneath of his waistband against the faint trail of hair below his navel. 

“Fuck,” Frank breathed out, looking up at Gerard’s eyes with a dark look that made his insides burn with heat. 

Gerard wanted them naked, skin to skin.

He reached out, sliding Frank’s belt through the buckle, pulling it open and undoing his fly. With his jeans open, he shoved them down a little, marvelling at the outline of Frank’s cock through his briefs. He palmed him, the feeling of him filling up his hand, warm and turned on was almost too much to handle.

Frank closed his eyes and bit his lip, moaning softly. He stripped Gerard’s jeans off, shuffling out of his own, letting them thump to the floor before leaning down again, taking Gerard’s hand and holding it to the pillow above his head. Gerard wrapped a leg over the back of Frank’s thigh and pressed against him, Frank moving to suck on his neck again before Gerard slipped his hand out of Frank’s grip, pulling the back of his t-shirt up and over his head. 

Gerard tilted his head back, letting Frank explore his neck, the gentle suction and biting sending sparks of excitement through his body. He felt Frank run his hand up Gerard’s side, rucking his shirt up under his armpits before he sat up so the older could pull it off him. 

Gerard slid his underwear down while he was at it, laying down again completely nude, under the heavy gaze of Frank whose eyes travelled his body, an unreadable expression on his face. He stripped his own briefs off and pressed their bodies together again, both of them breathing in sharply at the sensitive feeling. Frank’s cock was pressed right next to his, in the crease of his thigh, and Gerard experimentally shifted his hips up, rubbing them together, creating a crisp, clear sort of pleasure that made him moan high in his throat.

“Please fuck me- anything,” Gerard asked, panting, the older man’s body against his, cock hard and making delicious, breathy sounds was making him desperate. He wanted him inside of him so badly. 

“Have you done this before?” Frank asked, voice low and rough. 

Gerard closed his eyes and shook his head, hoping that wouldn’t change things.

“God, Gerard,” Frank sighed, “I really shouldn’t be doing this with you.”

Gerard smiled. “But you want to, right?”

Frank pressed their foreheads together, breathing heavily against Gerard’s face with his eyes scrunched closed. “Fuck, so much.”

He bit his lip and trailed his hand down Gerard’s stomach, brushing his cock gently before grazing his finger against Gerard’s hole, stroking in soft circles. Gerard gasped and turned his head to the side, pressing it to the side of Frank’s face as he teased him. His stubble was rough against his cheek, a nice, grounding sort of friction compared to the not-enough feeling of Frank taking his time with him.

“Do it?” Gerard asked.

Frank pushed himself up on his elbow. “Yeah, you want my fingers?” he asked, kissing up Gerard’s jaw. Gerard nodded, feeling arousal roll through him at the sound of Frank asking him that. It was something he’d thought of in the middle of the night with his hand around his cock, never thinking that Frank would really want to do that to him. Wanting to make him come. 

Frank sat up and pulled the drawer of his nightstand open, fishing around before laying lube and a condom on the bed. 

He flicked open the bottle, pouring a bit on two fingers on his right hand before snapping the lid closed and throwing it near them. Sliding his other hand up Gerard’s thigh, he brought his fingers to Gerard’s entrance, spreading the lube around first before slowly pressing a finger in. 

Gerard made a broken, surprised noise. He knew what Frank was going to do, but the feeling of him pushing past the resistance, sinking into him smoothly before pulling out, repeating at a gentle pace. 

“Good?” Frank asked, looking down on Gerard who was laid out before him, legs spread and hair splayed out against the pillow. His face made little winces of pleasure when Frank pressed up experimentally, almost brushing against his spot. 

He leant back down to kiss Gerard, he couldn’t not, as he continued the gentle pace, wanting to feel Gerard’s tongue as he fingered him. Gerard opened his mouth and let Frank’s tongue in, sliding it against his own, putting his arms around Frank’s bare back and pushing his hands up into his hair. 

Suddenly, Gerard felt Frank begin to press his second finger into him, the pad brushing at his rim before pushing in beside his index finger, noticeably tighter, making Gerard moan out as Frank continued pressing in. 

“God, Frank- I can’t,” he couldn’t breathe, or think. Frank thrust his fingers in, deep, finally rubbing against his spot and making throw his head back, clutching at Frank’s bicep as sparks of pleasure flashed before his eyes. 

Frank’s hair hung around Gerard’s face, and Gerard looked up at him, getting lost in his eyes. So many times, Gerard would look up and see Frank already looking back at him, an unreadable expression on his face, of wonder and something greater that lie just beneath the hazel of his irises. 

“I’m sorry I ignored you these past few weeks,” Frank whispered to him. 

Gerard looked up at him. “It’s okay.”

“If I didn’t stay away from you, I would have kissed you and I wouldn’t be able to stop, and it hurt everyday to see you so sad. I never wanted to do that to you.”

“You should have just kissed me.”

“I’m not _supposed_ to,” Frank told him, gripping his hair. “You’re my student, and I’m supposed to be there for you. I’m not supposed to _want_ you,” he was breathless now, his mouth close to Gerard’s ear, like they were sharing something they didn’t want anyone else to know. 

“I want you,” Gerard whispered back to him. 

Frank slid his fingers out and reached for the condom. Gerard closed his eyes and laid his arms above his head, breathing and calming down before Frank was inside of him. Soon, he felt Frank’s hands on his thighs and him beginning to press in the slightest amount, the size difference evident immediately. 

Gerard whined in discomfort when Frank pushed in a bit, stopping and running his hands up Gerard’s thigh calmingly. “Sorry.”  
“Keep going.”

He pushed forward a bit more, with less resistance this time, and smoothly pressed in, filling Gerard up so much more than before. He gasped and Frank pressed his hips to Gerard’s ass, the feeling of Frank’s cock inside of him making his own twitch between their stomachs, passed the point of arousal, to a throbbing sort of hurt/pleasure that made him pull Frank closer to him, rolling his hips up against his to feel the drag of Frank inside of him. 

Frank groaned and pressed his face to Gerard’s neck, pulling out slightly and rolling his hips deeply into the younger, causing them both to moan and clutch at each other, their hips moving against each others like a rising, cascading tide. 

Gerard attached his lips to Frank’s neck, licking over bite marks that were hardly healed from before, still red and clear against his tan skin. 

“Oh, god,” Frank whispered, voice deep and gravelly and he held Gerard’s hip and fucked into him harder, rubbing against his spot with each movement. 

“Fuck me,” Gerard choked out, his cock leaking precum and smearing against Frank’s stomach as they pressed together, screaming for attention so he could come already. He was so close.

Frank got the hint, reaching between him and wrapping his warm hand, rougher than Gerard’s and marked in tattoos around Gerard, spreading the precum around and stroking him at the same pace as his hips, making Gerard claw at his back, an uncontrollable moan with each exhale of air leaving his lips. 

In a haze of lust and some uncontrollable instinct, Gerard bit into Frank’s collarbone, not as deep as he normally would, but enough to bring a few drops of blood to the surface, rushing into his mouth and over his tastebuds, igniting some sort of sensors in his brain that made his orgasm roll through him in one full-body rush, coming hard over his stomach as he felt Frank all around him. Every scent and feeling was him, like a comforting, mesmerizing dream. 

Frank moaned, rough and low in the back of his throat when Gerard bit into him, pushing into him a few more times, harder than before and coming inside of him, his hand under Gerard’s lower back as he held him against himself, hips still making tiny movements as the rush of pleasure moved through him. 

He sat up after a minute, mouth open and lips slick with spit, hair wet to his forehead. He pushed his hair off his face roughly, taking a few deep breaths and looking down at Gerard with a mixture of calmness and disbelief on his face. Gently, he pulled out of Gerard and tossed the condom in the direction of the waste basket. 

Gerard watched as Frank laid down beside him, looking over at the older man as he looked up at the ceiling. A small hint of worry wormed it’s way into Gerard’s stomach that this would make things worse between them, that Frank would be different now. All he wanted was for things to be how they used to be. And for Frank to be something, whatever this was.

“I don’t wanna go back to you just being my teacher,” Gerard told him quietly. Frank looked over at him, his face softening. 

“When we’re at school I’m your teacher,” he reached out and touched the side of Gerard’s face, fingertips trailing ever so soft over his cheek.

“And what are we now?”

Frank smiled, leaning in and pressing his lips delicately to Gerard’s, a soft, warm press that made his heart flutter despite the less innocent things they’d done before. He didn’t think his heart would ever stop fluttering when Frank kissed him like that. 

“Whatever this is called,” Frank said, lips so close he could almost feel the words on his lips.

Gerard smiled and looked up into his eyes. He could work with that.

**Author's Note:**

> tumblr: newjerseyfucker. thanks for reading!


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